Friday, October 31, 2008

We're Doing It!

Last night I went and saw Zack and Miri Make a Porno. Today I have a sinus headache. As a result I’m having trouble formulating all my different ideas about the film into one intelligent and coherent review. So here’s the basics…

I really enjoyed the film. It was awesomely funny and also rather sweet. There are a few points where the sweet almost tips the scale into schmaltz territory but those moments are few and far between AND a great funny line always comes along to restore balance to the force. If you like Kevin Smith’s stuff you will love this film. If you don’t like Kevin Smith stuff you still might like this film. It’s a cute date movie. Go give it a try.

Here are some aborted attempts at introductory paragraphs and angry rants:

Many reviews of this film have spoken about the synergistic relationship between Kevin Smith and Judd Apatow. They mention how Kevin’s early films lead the way for Judd who in turn made the whole obscene/touching dynamic commercially viable with hits like The 40-Year-Old Virgin and Knocked Up. While all of this is true, it must be noted that before Kevin Smith...there was another. “Pope of Trash” John Waters has made a career out of films about a scrappy bands of outsiders and it is in that tradition which Zack and Miri Make a Porno finds itself firmly placed.

Kevin Smith’s films exist along a spectrum. At one extreme you have Chasing Amy and at the other you have Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. Aside from a few shared characters and verbal rhythms, the films could not be further apart. One is a nuanced meditation on love and sex, while the other is a broad slapstick cartoon. Located precisely in the middle of these two poles, is Zack and Miri Make a Porno.

The following are excerpts from Lisa Schwarzbaum’s review of Zack and Miri Make a Porno for Entertainment Weekly:

“…a visual eyesore, as if compositional coherence signifies selling out to the man.”

“…an intimate scene that even bad cinematography can’t ruin…”

I seriously feel that Ms. Schwarzbaum was watching an entirely different film than the one I saw last night. Cinematographer David Klein, working in harmony with production designer Robert Holtzman, created a wonderful dirt-smeared palette which perfectly compliments the film’s ‘down on your luck’ vibe.

And as for accusations of shoddy composition? I do not see how this film is any worse compositionally than 90% of the dreck unspooling on screens every week. I’m not saying that it is Antonioni-esque or anything, but it is also extremely far from compositional incoherence.

I’d be interested to see how many film reviews by Ms. Schwarzbaum over the last 15 years have included the word “composition”. Something tells me not many, and the few that do are probably Kevin Smith movies.

I get that she didn’t like the film, but why does she have to rely on old "truisms" that are no longer true? Sure Kevin had less than stellar meis en scene when he started, but after working with the likes of Vilmos Zsigmond can you really still make such claims? It comes off as reaching.

Hopefully reading all of these disparate parts in quick succession will give some semblance of what I would have said in an actual review. Time for Advil.

Hee Hee. This is my 69th blog post.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

5 Days Out

The election is less than a week away and things are not looking too good for Mr. McCain. Don't believe me? Check out the following clips -





Wow even Fox "News" callin' a brotha out. I know it's great to watch and bodes well for our side, but don't let it make you cocky. A lot can happen in 5 days so don't let me catch you resting on your laurels.

Get out there and rock the motherfuckin' vote!

Friday, October 24, 2008

ULTIMATE FAIL!!!

OK everyone. It's time for a special celebrity edition of America's favorite failure based game show...

ULTIMATE FAIL!

Today's contestant is Republican Vice Presidential Candidate Sarah Palin. We now go live to special political correspondent Brian Williams.

Not quite sure where she went wrong?

Read This -

terrorist: noun - A radical who employs terror as a political weapon; usually organizes with other terrorists in small cells; often uses religion as a cover for terrorist activities

Now Click & Read -

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eric_Robert_Rudolph

OK now.

Everybody say it with me...

ULTIMATE FAIL!!!

I'm sorry ma'am but you just lost the right to even be CONSIDERED for the office of Vice President. Thank you for playing.

Tune in next week for more failure-ific fun.

Thursday, October 23, 2008

What have you done for me LATELY?

A brief observation:

Whenever a conservative decides to jump ship and endorse Barack Hussein Obama the immediate reaction is to begin denigrating that person as not a ‘true conservative’. This all hit a fever pitch on Sunday when Colin Powell decided to endorse Obama while speaking on “Meet the Press”.

Colin Luther Powell served as a National Security Advisor to Reagan, Chaired the Joint Chiefs of Staff under Bush Sr. and acted as Secretary of State to Bush Jr. For most people, a resume like that would buy a lot of Republican street cred.




Oh and let’s not forget the fact that Powell is pro-choice and his mother dresses him funny.

I don’t get it.

Had Powell chosen to endorse McCain the Bill Kristols and William Bennetts of the world would be extolling his virtues as a wise and respected conservative man of principle. He's their negro as long as he's useful. After that -

'To the wolves with you. We have Alan Keyes.'

I honestly believe that if Ronald Reagan were to suddenly rise from the dead and endorse Barack Obama, every dittohead from here to Timbuktu would be decrying him as not a ‘true conservative’ and would repeatedly regurgitate the fact that he was a registered Democrat until 1962.

I sure hope Andy Griffith is ready for the onslaught:

See more Ron Howard videos at Funny or Die

Monday, October 20, 2008

Movies Of The Future!

Next Tuesday will mark the DVD release of “Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead” and though I have not seen the film myself I highly recommend it to anyone and everyone.

Some of you might be wondering: "What could give him such unbridled enthusiasm for an unseen film?"

For you I have two words: "LLOYD KAUFMAN!!!"

Many out there (close friends of mine included) like to dismiss Troma© as schlocky trash with absolutely no redeeming value. On one level they are correct. Troma© has released its’ share of “goat shit”, but when it comes to actual Lloyd Kaufman productions, you are in for a treat.

Lloyd is no dummy. He attended Yale alongside the likes of Gary Trudeau, Oliver Stone, George W. Bush and John Kerry. He also knows his cinema. As a young man he worshiped at the altar of art filmmakers like Andy Warhol and Stan Brakhage and it is this anti-authoritarian/underground streak that shines through in all of his films.

Unlike so much of the shit cluttering out multiplexes in this day and age, Lloyd actually makes films ABOUT something. He makes films about AIDS, abortion, women in the arts, our consumerist culture, etc. Of course it all gets related through the prism of a gory horror comedy but that just makes it all the better. A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down.

Even the ramshackle/low-budget nature of the productions serves as a plus. Godard isn’t the only one who can effectively used Brechtian devices in film. A particularly fake looking head explosion is an excellent way to remind you that you are watching film. An aware audience is much better able to interpret and discuss the ideas they are being fed. Unlike “Forrest Gump” et al, these films are not propaganda.

Now of course Troma© isn’t for everyone. Those with weak stomachs might want to take a rain check and that’s to be understood. But for those of you out there who consider yourselves serious cineastes, there is absolutely no excuse.

Lloyd is quite simply the most inspiring individual currently working in film. His passion is so intense that regardless of the medium, he is able to reach out and grab you. His prose can be just as inanely infectious as his cinema.

Recommended Viewing
-The Toxic Avenger
-Troma’s War
-Tromeo & Juliet
-Terror Firmer
-The Toxic Avenger IV: Citizen Toxie

Recommended Reading
-Make Your Own Damn Movie

NOW LET’S GO MAKE SOME ART!!!

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Casting Couch

Over the years the gap between a film’s theatrical release and its’ appearance on video and TV has grown smaller and smaller. So small in fact that many consumers opt to just skip the theatrical run altogether.

Good news for DVD and cable sales, bad news for theater owners. That is unless you’re 2929 Entertainment®.

Owned and run by billionaire Mark Cuban and his business partner Todd Wagner, 2929 Entertainment® consists of:

- Magnolia Pictures
- Landmark Theatres
- Magnolia Home Entertainment
- HDNet
- HDNet Films

Yep. They own the means of production as well as the means of distribution.

It is with this in mind, that back in 2005, 2929 Entertainment signed a deal with Oscar® winning director Stephen Soderbergh, to produce six feature-length films for simultaneous release on pay cable, DVD and in theaters.

Within a year of the deal Soderbergh had produced “Bubble”, an excellent film about murder in a small town, starring non-actors who all work at a doll factory. Definitely worth a rental.

Now, nearly four years and four non-2929 films later, Soderbergh is ready for another go around. This one will be titled “The Girlfriend Experience” and will center on the world of high-class call girls.

When the project was first announced Soderbergh stated that his intention was to use a girl from the world of adult film as his star. Yesterday he announced his choice:


I don’t know exactly how to feel about Sasha Grey.

She’s pretty, insisted on being photographed by Terry Richardson for Penthouse, pals around with the likes of The Smashing Pumpkins and The Roots, she’s a feminist (though some might dispute her on that) and loves art cinema.

So what’s the problem right?

My problem is with this tough yet aloof exterior she presents. She’s confrontational yet blasé about EVERYTHING! She’ll talk about the taboo of interracial porn or about empowering herself by pushing her personal sexual boundaries and I'm sure she really means it all, but it all comes off feeling false.

Yeah I know she’s got an image to maintain but that image really prevents me from taking her seriously about anything she has to say. Regardless of the topic, it all sounds the same. Who finds that interesting let alone sexy? Perhaps I’m just too square.

Anyhow, I’m really interested to see how “The Girlfriend Experience” turns out. If anyone can get behind her façade, it’s Stephen Soderbergh. Who knows? She could end up surprising me.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

What's Yr Take on Cassavetes?

If you have ANY interest in/appreciation of fine acting or great cinema, you NEED to see –

“A Woman Under The Influence”

I don’t care what certain members of Le Tigre say. Mr. Cassavetes is in no way a misogynist. This is a story about people doing the best they can to handle a situation they don’t really understand. Of course characters are going to do and say horrible things. That’s life and that’s what John was trying to capture.

Gena Rowlands’ performance is one for the ages. Every line, every gesture, every panicked look comes from a real and honest place. She really should have won that Oscar® (though Ellen Burstyn was pretty damn good in “Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore” as well). John crafted her the perfect role and she played it to the hilt.

Definitely not a Saturday night date movie, but essential viewing none the less.