Vivisection

This review is about a romantic comedy.

Wait…Please don’t go.

I know what you’re thinking. I’ve sat through a lot of crap too but trust me this isn’t one of THOSE movies. You gotta remember that those two words can also be used to describe: Annie Hall, Harold & Maude, Buffalo ’66, Punch-Drunk Love & Chasing Amy.

OK. You’ll stay? Thank you. Here we go.

Sorry Zach Braff & Natalie Portman, you have both just been usurped. You are no longer the reigning hipster film couple. That title now belongs to Joseph Gordon-Levitt & Zooey Deschanel the stars of the heartbreaking and touching (500) Days of Summer.

I could spend paragraph upon paragraph discussing the unconventional structure, soundtrack and alienating devices but what’s the point? Even without those elements this would still be a successful film. Strip everything away and it is still an emotionally true and heartfelt story. The film geek stuff is just icing on an already delicious cake.

INSANE IN THE MEMBRANE!

My lady and I recently re-watched Martin Scorsese's documentary on American Cinema. Dear Lord that man loves movies! High brow or low brow he loves them all equally. From the looks of the trailer to his new film it seems like he's getting the chance to get his B-Movie on. I can't wait!

A Tiger In Your Tank

Last summer I had high expectations for Pineapple Express. I envisioned this magical melding of low-brow Cheech & Chong comedy with beautiful & nuanced mise en scene. What I got instead was this bi-polar over-long mess with sincere intentions yet few big laughs.

Though it is clearly no great piece of art, The Hangover succeeds in many of the ways that Pineapple failed. The title sequence alone shows more skill than Brett Ratner's entire filmography. And fear not - it's funny. Howlingly so. Filthy, dirty jokes done intelligently.

Hopefully this film will lead to Zach Galifianakis overtaking Dane Cook as America's #1 comic. OK. Is that asking too much? How about this: Hopefully this film leads to someone allowing Zach to headline his own film? It'll probably bomb with pop audiences but at least it will exist.

Bound For Glory

I am very saddened to report that Oscar nominee & cult film legend David Carradine has died. He was 72.

I'll let the news sites relate to you the details of his passing. Here we just want to focus on the amazing career of a notoriously awesome and notoriously difficult actor.

I think part of the reason why this death is hitting me so strongly is the fact that I just watched him get killed two days ago in his cameo in Mean Streets. How can he be dead when I just watched him on my television machine? But I guess in the end that's what celluloid and DVD are for. As long as they're around he's not really dead.

I highly recommend honoring him with a triple feature of Boxcar Bertha, Death Race 2000 & Kill Bill Vol. 2

Mortgage Meltdown!

I honestly cannot remember the last time I was excited to see a horror film. Ever since Saw hit in 2004 horror films have grown increasingly more oppressive. Each film trying to out-do the next in terms of sadism and fucked-upedness. Now I’m not saying that films like this are evil “torture porn” and should not exist (I for one enjoyed both of the Hostel films) but what I am saying is a little variety never hurt anyone.

Thank God for Sam Raimi! After six years of being caught up in all things web-head, Mr. Raimi has returned to the genre that made him a star with subtly titled – Drag Me To Hell. If you like BIG scares, BIG laughs and people getting hit on the head with BIG anvils this is the movie for you. Yep that’s right – comedy in a horror film! Not since Slither have I laughed so much (with not at) a horror film.

Watching this film makes me yearn for more Raimi-horror. I want more floating possessed people, more geysers of blood and more 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88s. Unfortunately we’re gonna have to sit through another Spider-Man film before we get there. But at least it’s good to know that the home fires are still burning.

Palms of Gold

This has definitely been an interesting year for Cannes. When the line-up was announced everybody was atwitter about the strength of the slate. Many legendary auteurs were represented.

Cut-to: the actual screenings.

Many of the films were reviewed as either so-so (or in the case of Antichrist absolutely horrible). The worm had turned and we were left with no stand-out film. So how were the awards finally doled out?

Special Lifetime Achievement Prize - Alain Resnais (who had the film "Les HerbesFolles"in competition)

Best Actor - Christoph Waltz for "Inglourious Basterds"

Best Actress - Charlotte Gainsbourg for "Antichrist"

Director - Brillante Mendoza for "Kinatay"

Scenario (Best Screenplay) - "Spring Fever" (Lou Ye)

Jury Prize - tie, "Thirst" (Park Chan-Wook) / "Fish Tank" (Andrea Arnold)

Camera d'Or - "Samson and Delilah" (Warwick Thornton)

Short Film - "Arena"

Grand Prix (second prize)- "Un Prophete" (Jacques Audiard)
The Palme d'Or - "White Ribbon" (Michael Haneke)

Quite the diverse slate. Though I find Charlotte Gainsbourg to be a great actress and have yet to see Antichrist, I can't help but feel that the jury gave her the prize for putting up with director Lars Von Trier. And as if I wasn't already psyched enough for Inglourious Bastards, it now has an acting award to its' credit. Only here could you have a sadistic Austrian film win best picture.

Cannes you never cease to surprise me. Too bad ALL of these films will be ignored come Golden Globe/Oscar season.

This Is Not The Future My Mother Warned Me About

As far as genres go, the action film is arguably the oldest (does documentary count as a genre?). Films like The Life of an American Fireman and The Great Train Robbery were trailblazers that pushed the limits of what the medium was capable of. Multiple shots, parallel action, etc. were all techniques pioneered in action films.

Unfortunately in the intervening years, action films have fallen behind the curve. Nowadays all the great innovations come from art films with action playing catch-up. The best example of this is McG’s latest opus Terminator Salvation.

While the film was still in production Mr.G (?) describe his ambition thusly: an action film shot like Children of Men. That simple statement sent many people's interest in the film from -5 to 2. Perhaps this film would amount to more than cinematic a get rich quick scheme. Sadly that is not the case.

While Señor G’s film is extremely successful stylistically, it is as empty as a Madoff investor’s bank account when it comes to content. What we get instead is an unfocused narrative about freedom (maybe?) and humanity (possibly?) filled with elements from other more successful action films. Giant Transformer robots, Road Warrior car chases and grease smeared little girl who wants to be Newt from Aliens.

Great sci-fi makes leaves audiences filled with questions about life, the universe and everything. This film leaves audiences wondering why Christian Bale thought this film was important enough to go ape-shit on a DP over?

A Decade In Front Of The Tube

With the 2008/2009 TV season drawing to a close there is only one reasonable thing to do - make a list of the decade's best TV shows. Am I jumping the gun? Maybe but my feeling is that the exemplary serieses have already proven themselves, the shitty ones won't all of a sudden get good and new shows debuting in the summer or fall are too new.

In order to make the list a show must have lasted at least 2 seasons. Also, rather than declaring a single show the greatest I've picked 2 dramas and 2 comedies. In my opinion these 4 shows both reflected and defined the past 10 years. So without any further ado...

BEST DRAMA

Great art can take the specific and make it universal. By intensely exploring 5 years in the ghettos of Baltimore Maryland The Wire was able to make profound statements about crime, politics, media, addiction, etc. This show was able to take material that is usually relegated to the editorial page and make it riveting entertainment. Couple that with an amazingly talented ensemble of actors and you get a classic that will be remembered for years to come.

I have to admit that I was pretty late to the game on this one. I was being an elitist in assuming that nothing with that title could possibly be anything more than fodder for the Comic-Con crowd. When I finally started playing catch-up mid-way through season 3 I found that I was only half right. In addition to babes, bots & blasters there were also intensely relevant ideas in play. Torture, religion & terrorism. Not your usual sci-fi trifecta but it worked like fraking gang busters. So say we all.

BEST COMEDY

Combine two of the shittiest elements of post-millennial life (reality TV & Enron) and what do you get? One of the funniest and most quotable shows ever! So what if not a single character was sympathetic? People love to laugh at buffoons. The more self-aggrandizing the buffoon the better. Though the show died an unceremonious death after 3 underrated seasons the waves it started can still be felt in film & TV to this day. You're welcome Michael Cera!

Laugh for laugh this is the best thing going on TV currently. Industry insider shows never work. This is because very few people are actually inside, yet somehow this show has succeeded in bringing people inside its' weird fucked up little world. We want to go to there. Only this show could get away with having an Amadeus or Harry and The Hendersons themed sub-plot. God bless Tina Fey!

So there you have it. Discuss!

Three

Though I haven't seen a lot of Fellini I have seen 8 1/2 and I love it more than words. A beautiful film filled with so many startling images and ideas. If you haven't seen it yet I insist you must.

anyhow...

The film is titled 8 1/2 because within Fellini's filmography this was film number (you guessed it) 8 1/2. In 1982 the film was adapted into a Broadway musical cleverly titled 9. Now the cycle is complete and that musical has been made into a film. Here's the trailer:



It's kind of surreal seeing familiar images like la Saraghina in a similar yet vaguely unfamiliar way. Rob Marshall (Chicago, Memoirs of a Geisha) is definitely no Fellini but he's also no slouch either.

Some might give him flack for casting very few Italians in this film just like how he cast very few Japanese in Geisha. While I find this fact interesting I'll state that in the end all that matters is whether or not the film is good. Guess we'll have to wait till November to find out.

Worst comes to worst this film will make an interesting double feature with All That Jazz.

Warp Speed!

I've tried to write this review at least 10 times and have had zero success. I've tried making it about franchise revival, I've tried to make it about the increased pop acceptance of all things nerd, I've even tried to make it about cinema structure. All of these have been miserable failures.

Maybe I'm trying too hard. Maybe I should simplify. OK Craig. I one sentence describe the new Star Trek movie.

Star Trek is...FUN!

Sure you can gripe about the fairly non-sensical plot, or how it plays fast and loose with the mythology, but in the end it comes down to that one word - Fun. This movie is one hell of a wild ride with a strong emphasis on character. Oh and did I mention all the people are pretty too?

For my money this is THE tent pole of the summer. If you haven't seen it yet I suggest you get your butt to a theater and strap in.

May you live long and prosper.

Super Scouts!

From 6th thru 12th grade I your humble blogger was a Boy Scout.  I even made it to Eagle.  In order to get Eagle you are required to earn a certain amount of merit badges.  Most of these come from a set list (First Aid, Citizenship in the Nation, etc.) but once you have earned all of the "required" badges you are then free to pick from a litany of other badges to fill the quota.

You can get a badge in beekeeping.  You can also get one (I shit you not) in Nuclear Science.  These Misc badges are there so that kids with far flung interests can get badges in things that they dig. Unfortunately for me there were only four badges to cover my interests: Film, Theatre, Photography & Art.

Oh how I envy the female youth of today.

The Girl Scouts of the Virginia Skyline Council have a Comics Badge!

What the fuck man?  For years people have pigeonholed comics as a medium for emotionally stunted males, yet it's the ladyfolk who stepped up to the plate and made a badge for this legitimate American art form!  The BSA needs to get their shit together and make one of these for all the (how do we put this?) "indoor kids".

Rock on Girl Scouts!

EXCELSIOR!

Tomorrow is the first Saturday of May.  Do you know what that means?

FREE COMIC BOOK DAY!!!

A few years back when the fist X-Men film was released, comic book retailers across the nation decided to seize upon the publicity by having Free Comic Book Day.  The theory being that the film would cause millions of people to start jonsing for a comic fix and they (the retailers) would be there to scratch your itch.  Well I guess it was successful because here we are nearly a decade later and it's become an annual tradition.

Last year Free Comic Book Day followed the release of the excellent Iron Man movie.  This year we're not so lucky and are getting a reportedly less than stellar Wolverine movie.  Oh well. They can't all be winners.  

Shitty mutant movie aside - you should carve an hour out of your tomorrow to  head on down to your nearest comic book retailer.  What you don't know where that is?  Shame on you!  But you can always dial 1-888-COMICBOOK for a little help in that department.

Lots of cool publishers are releasing lots of cool special issues that are only available as part of Free Comic Book Day.  I'm personally excited for the Love and Rockets sampler from Fantagraphics (though there will probably be none left by the time I get off work). Grrr.

In addition to the free books, most shops will also be hosting massive sales.  With the economy as it is this would be the perfect time to but that trade paper back you've been eyeing.  Or for those of you who aren't really comic book followers this is the perfect time to start.  The first taste is free and the second taste could be 25% off.  I'd like to see a drug dealer who could do better.

All joking and carnival barking aside - please come out and support this truly American art medium.  You turned out in droves to see The Dark Knight, now it's time to turn out for the little funny books that first gave us the caped crusader.

Recommended titles for newbies to look at:

-Love and Rockets

-Y: The Last Man

-Watchmen

-Runaways

-Scott Pilgrim

-The Dark Knight Returns

-Persepolis

-Invincible

The Adventures of 100 Day Man & the Senator Formerly Known as R.I.N.O.

As this week marks the end of President Barack Obama's first 100 days in office, every news outlet in existence is trying to find the best way to determine the success or failure of those 100 days. Some are basing their decision on the amount of legislation he has been able to get through congress, some are basing it on opinion polls and others are just looking for people who agree with their already predetermined views.

As far as I'm concerned debate is no longer needed after the following news broke --

Arlen Specter Switches Parties

Rush Limbaugh and his ilk can try to spin it all they want by saying that Specter has always been a R.I.N.O. (Republican In Name Only) and losing him to the dems is no big loss - but it is. As Senator Specter points out in his statement:

"Last year, more than 200,000 Republicans in Pennsylvania changed their registration to become Democrats."

Simply put, he's switching parties because his constituents have. To remain a Republican would mean an almost certain defeat in 2010. This is immensely smart politicking on the Senator's behalf. He sees the tide turning. The times they are a-changin'. It is no longer 1980. In the past 8 years the Republican party has drifted too far to the right. As a result views that were once considered right-leaning are now left of the Limbaugh, Hannity, O'Reilly wind tunnel.

The Republican party is like Dennis Hopper & Peter Fonda in Easy Rider - they blew it. They had the world by the short and curlies and lost it all out of sheer greed...and I for one could not be happier. Their loss is our gain.

To conclude

EAT IT SUCKERS!

Now I need to go finish reading Das Kapital before attending a gay wedding in that notorious bastion of socialist values known as Iowa so that I can help the terrorists win.

Sincerely,
Comrade Duffy

JUSTICE!!!

FORMER ORANGE COUNTY SHERIFF MIKE CARONA WAS SENTENCED TODAY!!!

"Back home, cats don't talk."

This year is going to be a big one for the best animated feature category at the Oscars. We're going to have a new Pixar film (Up), a new Miyazaki film (Ponyo on the Cliff), Wes Anderson's animation debut (The Fantastic Mr. Fox), etc. and a creepy morality play from his good friend Henry Selick known as Coraline. Though in the end only three films will make the cut (I don't know why they don't open it up to five nominees) I'm going to go on the record and say that Coraline will make the cut.

Based on a book by Neil Gaiman, Coraline tells the rather simple story of a girl who doesn't appreciate the life she has. Of course we know where this is going. She'll somehow or other find her way to a world that fills all of her wildest dreams only to discover that there's no place like home. Tale as old as time. So what makes Coraline worth it then?

Henry Selick.

Henry Selick is a wizard like no other. Sure Monkeybone was a steaming heap but The Nightmare Before Christmas along with James and the Giant Peach are wonders to behold. Like no other he can take another artist's world (ie: Burton, Dahl & Gaiman) and make it uniquely his own. He can out auteur an auteur and that is no easy feat. Coraline is dazzling, funny and scary all at the same time. Few artists out there are able to strike so many chords.

Pixar already has awards up the wazoo as does the honorable Miyazaki-san. I think this year it's time for Henry to take his place among giants.

Thank You For Being A Friend

Revenge of the Croisette

It's that time of year again. A time of love and angst. Love for those crazy cineasts known collectively as "the french" and angst over the fact that I won't be able to attend their little film party. This year being particularly cruel because a mere 2 weeks after the festival ends - BECCA AND I WILL ACTUALLY BE IN FRANCE!

Le Sigh

Well anyway...I am of course rambling about the Cannes Film Festival. The creme de la creme of international film festivals. The place where all your favorite filmmakers show they're newest wares well before anyone else will ever get a chance to see them.

Le Sigh

This year's lineup is amazing. Here's a list of the films I'll be missing most at this year's festival:

In Competition

Abrazos Rotos by Pedro Almodovar

Antichrist by Lars Von Trier

Bright Star by Jane Campion

Enter The Void by Gasper Noe

Les Herbes folles by Alain Resnais

Inglorious Basterds by Quentin Tarantino

Looking For Eric by Ken Loach

Taking Woodstock by Ang Lee

Thirst by Park Chan Wook

Vengeance by Johnny To

The White Ribbon by Michael Haneke

Un Certain Regard

Mother by Bong Joon Ho

Push by Lee Daniels

Nymph by Pen-Ek Ratanaruang

Out of Competition

Agora by Alejandro Amenabar
The Imagianirum of Docteur Parnassius by Terry Gilliam

Midnight Screening

Drag Me To Hell by Sam Raimi

Special Selection

L'épine dans le coeur by Michel Gondry

ok.

One more time for emphasis...

LE SIGH!

Before I Was Cool

Let me start out by saying: Nobody in 4th grade is cool. You may think you were but honestly look back at 4th grade - you were not cool. Trust me on this. But anyhow...

Back in 4th grade when I was busy being uncool I accidentally did something cool. And what was this inadvertently cool thing you ask?

I watched The State

And now that wonderful program is finally coming to DVD. They've promised this before but this time I think they mean it for reals.

The State DVD


So if you want to have any hope of being cool in the future you should start saving your milk money for this bad boy. It's more fun than a barrel of monkey torture.

The Craigterion Collection

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To Know Him Is To Love Him

The title of this entry is also the title of the fist song Phil Spector ever recieved credit on. Unfortunately for Mr. Spector, that title doesn't describe him in the least. Essentially everyone who has known him has hated him. He's mean and he's crazy. He also produced some of the greatest music of the last century but that doesn't changed the fact that he's now a convicted murderer.

GO DIRECTLY TO JAIL YOU FUCKING PSYCHOTIC!

Slow It Down

Though Andy Warhol was arguably the most productive filmmaker of the 1960s, few of his films have been seen.  This is because in the 1970s Warhol himself decided to stop allowing them to be shown.  He liked the idea of them developing a mythos.  Films that were talked about often but impossible to see.

Since his death in 1986 it's become a bit easier to see these films, but not by much.  Some are available on murky bootlegs while the bulk are only shown in conjunction with museum retrospectives of the paintings.  That's how I finally got to see a  a handful of his infamous screen tests.

While it's true that the films are much more stimulating intellectually than visually, there is no denying a certain beauty in his imagery.  Shot at sound speed and projected at silent speed, the nearly imperceptible slow motion helps to give great pomp and circumstance to even the most minuscule movements.  Something is off but you can't exactly place it.

On Tuesday (4/7), Plexifilm is releasing 13 Most Beautiful...Songs For Andy Warhol's Screen Tests.  This is the first ever authorized release of a Warhol film on DVD.  Hopefully there will be many more to follow.  I personally would love to see a Criterion release of The Chelsea Girls.

Let The Wild Rumpus Start!

This trailer looks soooooo beautiful. I cannot wait for this movie. We've gone too long without a Spike Jonze film and this looks to be well worth the wait. The studio has been worried about whether or not this film will appeal to kids. I don't even think it has to. Everyone who grew up with this book will be there opening day! I gotta go find a crown.

So Say We All!

This past Friday brought us the series finale of Battlestar Galactica. By and large I really dug it. Just the right balance of explanation and ambiguity. Though I'm sad to see it go I'm also glad that it was able to end on its' own terms rather than through cancellation.

With Battlestar gone, TV is starting to look like a scary place. For my money the only truly great shows still on the air are 30 Rock, The Office and Chuck (go NBC!). Sure there's Gossip Girl, Reaper, Heroes and Criminal Minds but I don't NEED to watch them. Gossip Girl is fun trash with no depth, Heroes stopped being great long ago, Reaper I can take or leave and Criminal Minds is a standard procedural.

The apartment my fiance and I just moved in to doesn't have TV, and even once we get a converter box and such we won't have cable or DVR. In the past this would have been a sign of impending doom. Daddy needs his stories! But with the present decline in quality television, it's not that scary of a prospect. After all, I can still get all the worthwhile stuff on Hulu.

Goodbye Television. It was fracking great while it lasted.

Mad Love

ROB GORDON: What came first, the music or the misery? People worry about kids playing with guns, or watching violent videos, that some sort of culture of violence will take them over. Nobody worries about kids listening to thousands, literally thousands of songs about heartbreak, rejection, pain, misery and loss. Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable? Or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?

Rob's right. Pop music is pretty fucked up. Check out this little ditty by the Crystals from 1962:

So many songs about insane, obsessive, abusive love. No wonder so many out there find themselves remaining in destructive relationships. I would not be surprised if Ms. Rihanna were to cover this in the near future. Part of me wants to find this type of music reprehensible - but it's just so damn catchy.

I Hope That I Don't Fall In Love With You

Over my quarter century on this planet I've seen a good share of awesome live music.  I've seen shitty bands rock and awesome bands suck.  I've seen Radiohead, Lou Reed, New Order, Björk, Rufus Wainwright, Squirrel Nut Zippers, etc.  In spite of all of this there is still one act left to see.

I seriously think that if Tom Waits dies before I see him live, the rest of my life will be pointless. Even the birth of my children will be a hallow experience for I shall know that they are being born into a cruel universe that denied their father the awe inspiring experience of seeing Tom Waits perform.

Did you hear that Tom?

COME BACK TO LA!

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes? or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Watchmen Movie

9 times out of 10, trash literature makes for the best cinema. It is infinitely easier to add depth to something shallow than to subtract it from something deep. In order to fit a classic work into an acceptable run time something has to give. Apparently nobody told this to the makers of Watchmen.

Though the presence of brightly colored costumes and giant squids might lead you to believe otherwise, Watchmen is a dense, dense read. Its' ideas about love, war and heroism require time to digest. But in the filmic incarnation there is simply no time to digest anything. It's the cinematic equivalent of racing through the Louvre...with fight scenes!

OK. Now I know the above statement comes off pretty harsh, but believe me this isn't a call to gang up on Zack Snyder. The sequence about Dr. Manhattan's origin as well as Rorschach's psych evaluation are both devastatingly effective. You feel his reverence for the material in every frame. You can tell that he understands the ideas that are at play. He was simply crushed under the sheer volume of them.

For years people will debate how the material might have been better served by flimmaker X,Y and Z but there's really no point. This is the movie we got so suck it up. Homeboy did as good a job as anyone could have.  No filmmaker, no matter how great, would have been able to make a film that satisfied everyone (though I will admit that most anyone could have made better use of music).

Now let's put all of our petty grievances aside and unite in fear of the cinematic squid creature known as Uwe Boll who threatens to attack our collective good taste at any minute.

Catch you in the funny papers.

Volume II

Though it is not exactly chic to say among the cineastes, I simply have to say:

I LOVE KEVIN SMITH

He makes me laugh. Plain and simple. So suck it.

Anyhow...

Today it was announced that Kevin is set to direct a script he did not write. It's titled A Couple of Dicks, was written by Robb & Marc Cullen and is set to star Bruce Willis & Tracy Morgan. This is big news considering Smith once declared that he would NEVER shoot somebody else's material. Also this will be Kevin's first film without longtime producer Scott Mosier.

Ever since Zack & Miri Make a Porno underperformed at the box office Smith has seriously been re-evaluating his career and this appears to be a direct manifestation of that angst. I'm really eager to see how this turns out. I have the utmost faith in Smith. Hopefully this will be the film that shows people he's not just a writer. Homeboy grew up.

Rosebud

FEMALE REPORTER: If you could've found out what Rosebud meant, I bet that would've explained everything.

THOMPSON: No, I don't think so; no. Mr. Kane was a man who got everything he wanted and then lost it. Maybe Rosebud was something he couldn't get, or something he lost. Anyway, it wouldn't have explained anything... I don't think any word can explain a man's life. No, I guess Rosebud is just a... piece in a jigsaw puzzle... a missing piece.

According to Peter Bogdanovich, Welles' unreleased final film: The Other Side of the Wind, might finally get screened at this May's Cannes Film Festival! Mind you they've been making similar statements for years, but something tells me that it might finally be Orson's year. We will finally get to see/hear Welles' final statement as a filmmaker (dramatic pause) His cinematic rosebud.

*fingers crossed*

Feels Like The First Time

For much of my young life the music I listened to was my parents music. Meat Loaf and Queen were two early obsessions of mine. It wasn't until middle school that I really truly found a band that I could call my own and that band was Squirrel Nut Zippers.

While other kids were discovering punk, I was discovering dixieland. Man you should have seen me in middle school with creepers, khakis, a pocket watch with a chain and buttoned up paneled shirts. I even took swing dancing lessons with my aunt at the local community college.

Eventually I grew out of the style (much to the dismay of my intended) but the music never left. It's so fucking good! And the band still ranks in my top 5 where they stand out next to names like Radiohead and The Velvet Underground.

So it is with great pomp & circumstance that I announce:



I've seen them twice before and it is always a great show. Especially when they bust out the projector and start rocking this little ditty:

So grease up that pomp, put on your dancing shoes and grab your best gal and bring her on down cause this is gonna be one hell of a party!

"It doesn't matter what I think. It doesn't matter what I feel. The dead are still dead."

Most people already had an opinion about The Reader before a single frame of film had been screened. Whispers about behind the scenes politicking have been filling the blogosphere since early fall. Add to that the fact that many feel this film "stole" The Dark Knight's best picture nom and you have a pretty stacked deck. But in the end what is truly important is one simple question:

Is it best picture material?

My answer quite bluntly is NO. Now this is not to say that the film is completely devoid of admirable qualities. The cinematography is beautiful, the direction is assured and the performances (especially that of Kate Winslet) are astounding. So what is it then that trips such a potent blend of positives? One word - structure.

The latter half of the film is far superior to the first half. The first half is 100% exposition - a screenwriter's nightmare. Sure they have hot naked flesh to keep asses in seats, but other than that it is a rather hollow experience.

You can tell they knew this was a bit of a problem. The film's opening scene sets up a mystery in order to make the audience want to sit through the next hour, they even employ occasional flash forwards, but in the end it all results in making that first hour all the more agonizing. You just want it to be over so that you can find out what is going on at the start.

Once the film gets down to the brass tacks of dealing with the Holocaust and morality it becomes a whole new ball game. There are deep philosophical questions being addressed and I feel the film does an able job of grappling with them. There are no easy answers and that is what makes for great drama.

So why not just cut out that whole first part and make the film focus on the latter half? Because it's necessary. As dull as that first half is, it provides us with essential information towards understanding what occurs in the latter half. So what then could have been done? Should this film not even have been attempted?

No. I think there's a great film laying in there somewhere. It just needed some more time in the editing room to figure out all those structuring problems. Too bad someone rushed it through post. Oops! There I go bickering about studio politics.

Mahalo

Baadasssss!

A few weeks back at the New York Comic Con MTV hosted a panel to determine the Top Ten Movie Badasses. Since then a lot of hip celebrities have been posting their lists on their blogs. Since I like to consider myself a celebrity (in my mind) I will now bestow upon you all my personal list of Cinematic Badassery:

Walker (Point Blank)
John McClane (Die Hard)
Ellen Ripley (Aliens)
The Bride (Kill Bill Vol 1)
Lee (Enter The Dragon)
Pike Bishop (The Wild Bunch)
Doc Holiday (Tombstone)
John Shaft (Shaft)
Blondie (The Good, the Bad and the Ugly)
Gny. Sgt. Hartman (Full Metal Jacket)

You are now free to return to your regularly scheduled lives.

King of the Jews

Though he didn't make my list of living filmmakers (cause he only has two under his belt) I do love me some Judd Apatow. I absolutely agree with all of those people out there who list him as the heir apparent to Woody Allen.

And today we have the premiere of the trailer to Judd's newest film Funny People.

In my opinion it looks pretty good.  Great laughs while at the same time letting a little more drama creep in.  I'm interested to see how people react to this.  It is definately not The 40-Year-Old Virgin but it is absolutely the next logical step in his evolution as a filmmaker.  This and Inglorious Basterds are definately my most anticipated films of the year.

Mahalo

Ciao Middleman!

Yet another brilliant and funny TV show has bitten the dust. According to The New York Post's Pop Culture Blog, ABC Family has decided to pull the plug on Javier Grillo-Marxuach's pop savy series.

This show was brilliant in so many ways. It was funny, filled with great pop culture gags and had an ass-kicking latina for a lead. I still need to pick up the comics on which it was based. Le sigh. I hope all of the talented people behind this show are able to find work that makes use of their awesome talents.

Let us at least take comfort in the fact that the season will soon be coming to DVD as well as a comic book realization of the unfilmed season finale.

Farewell Middleman - we hardly knew ye.

25 Storytellers

Entertainment Weekly recently made a list of the 25 greatest working directors. Lots of talented people on there and lots of “what the fuck?” James Cameron? Fella's only now making his first film in over a decade!

I’m gonna take this opportunity to come up with my own list of 25. EW limits their list to working directors. In my opinion this means their current films have to be of a consistent quality. No skating by on past glory. Sorry Woody, sorry Godard. Here (in no particular order) are the names that can get my ass in a seat:

Martin Scorsese

Steven Spielberg

Pedro Almodovar

Paul Thomas Anderson

Allison Anders

Clint Eastwood

Darren Aronofsky

David Fincher

Guillermo Del Toro

Alfonso Cuaron

Joel & Ethan Coen

Quentin Tarantino

Stephen Soderbergh

Wes Anderson

Jim Jarmusch

Lloyd Kaufman

Spike Jonze

Werner Herzog

David Cronenberg

Gus Van Sant

Spike Lee

Wong Kar-Wai

John Waters

David Lynch

Kevin Smith

Photobooth Beauty Queen

I am a huge Andy Warhol fan. Though he could be rather aloof to many and a dick to some I still appreciate the works he created with both film and paint. I even named my photo "company" Pink Cow Photography after my second favorite Warhol creation. So what is my first favorite?

By and large I am not a fan of Warhol's portraits. Yet if I were a billionaire I would buy this painting. I love everything about it. The vibrant colors, the goofy poses, the patchiness of the silk-screen. In spite of the mechanical apparatus(es) used to create it (ie: a photo booth and silk-screening) it contains more life than many/most expressionist works.

So why am I writing about this painting? Because it's subject, arts patrol Ethel Scull, died today at the age of 79. As sad as that news made me - looking at this painting makes me happy.

You can read more about Ethel here.

You came, you saw, you conquered

The music industry has lost 1/3 of a legend. Estelle Bennett, one of the three Ronettes, died on Wednesday at 67.

Before I'd ever heard the term "wall of sound" I knew I loved the Ronettes. Those voices. And now one of them is forever silent.

My personal favorite track is an easy and predictable one. Sure it's been used over and again in crap like Dirty Dancing, but it's also been used for one of the greatest openings in film history. Rest In Peace.

100 Nazi Scalps!

I am so excited for this movie! Love the Leone style intertitles. Majorly bummed that Morricone isn't going to be doing the score but oh well. There's still a whole lot to love here. I'm drooling with anticipation for the black & white sequences. Robert Richardson is a cinematography GOD! AND HE'S WORKING WITH DAVID & SANDY WASCO AGAIN!!!

The trailer's gonna be showing before Friday the 13th. Could this be the film that reunites Tarantino with mainstream audiances? You be the judge:

Comrade Queen

For the second day in a row fate has seen fit to present me with an absolutely insane left of field story about a public figure. This one might out-do yesterdays.

Putin denies mystery ABBA concert!!!

Come on Vlady. Don't be shy. I know you like to maintain this macho image (what with all the shirtless fishing shots and such) but come on. Everyone loves ABBA. Maybe you're just ashamed that you could only get the cover band Bjorn Again and not the real deal. It's cool.

My only fear is that the band members who blabbed to the press are gonna turn up dead from radiation poisoning.

Go here for the full details.

Billionaire Gone Wild!

OK. This story is simply to weird/funny to not pass on. While addressing a crowd at a technology confrence about the dangers of Malaria -

BILL GATES UNLEASHED A SWARM OF MOSQUITOS!!!

Of course the bugs in question didn't have the deadly virus. SHUCKS! Anyhow, this still totally wins Bill Gates a special place in my heart and absolutely made my day. Even thought it's only 8:30 AM I don't see how anything short of The Smiths reuniting for a private concert in my house will be able to top this.

You can read MORE!

Prescious Little Life

Scott Pilgrim makes me happy. Sure the character is wickedly immature and insensitive but the comic book he stars in is one of the most vital titles of the aughts.

AND IT'S GOING TO BECOME A MOVIE!!!

Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead & Hot Fuzz) is exactly the right person to be doing this adaptation. Scott Pilgrim is the sequential art extension of what Spaced did on television. Characters who view themselves through a pop culture prism. They don't just talk about films and old video games - they live them.

Wright has also lined up one hell of a cast consisting of young Hollywood's finest and according to one of said cast members: THERE ARE GOING TO BE ANIMATED SEQUENCES!

Though I am extremely eager to see The Watchmen, I think this is the comics to film project I am most anticipating. It's the perfect melding of artist and subject. Should be plenty reverent but also not slavish.

SCOTT PILGRIM Vs. THE WORLD

coming soon

In the mean time you can pick up the just released Scott Pilgrim vs. The Universe. Book 5 of 6. At the moment it's available only in comic shops (I know you're scared). Soon it'll be everywhere.

Time to catch up.

Behold!

Look what the Academy has deprived themselves of by denying The Boss another nomination. This all could have been yours...



Sure his snubbed song "The Wrestler" isn't really conducive to power sliding. But that's beside the point. Let's just hope M.I.A. has recovered enough from having her kid to at least show up and liven the place up.

Best Flicks 2008

As always a day late and a dollar short but. Oh well.

Here are the 5 flicks I dug the most from last year:

Other films worth giving a look-see:

The Wrestler
Che

Iron Man
The Dark Knight
Hellboy II: The Golden Army
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Zack and Miri Make a Porno
Gran Torino
Mother of Tears (US release)

Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead
Burn After Reading
Wall-E
Be Kind Rewind

Paper Heart

Last night my fiance and I got to see a test screening of Paper Heart staring comedian/musician Charlyne Yi (the awkward Asian girl from Knocked Up). The film is a faux-documentary which follows Yi across the country as she interviews people about love. Along the way she strikes up a romanitc relationship with Michael Cera. The result is Borat mixed with When Harry Met Sally...

This film is definitely not for everyone. If you are already predisposed to dislike cute/awkward hipster kids then there is no way that you will like this film. The audience is very niche. I hope that they don't try to market it to the Knocked Up and Superbad crowd. I heard many pissed off bros as I left the theatre. This is much more for the Napoleon Dynamite and Juno crowd.

What really holds this film together is Charlyne. She successfully takes a character (or is that really her?) that most people would categorize as asexual, and makes you see the yearning for connection which lies underneath. She wears her paper heart on her sleeve. Even in completely contrived situations you cannot help but feel for her.

Oh and those kids in Atlanta are priceless.

Let It Bleed

Randy “The Ram” Robinson is a professional wrestler way past his prime, living in a trailer, estranged from his daughter and enamored with a local stripper. Oh and did I mention that he has a weak heart that could kill him if he ever enters the ring again? On paper The Wrestler should so not work. It reeks of 1,001 crappy films you’ve seen before – yet miraculously it soars right over the ropes.

Mickey Rourke’s performance as Randy is the perfect melding of actor and role. When Randy bluntly states that the “90s sucked” you are acutely aware that they also sucked for Rourke who in 1991 left Hollywood for the boxing ring. After five years of floundering, Rourke finally returned to acting only to find that a lot had changed. What was once beefcake had turned into a slab of beef. Rourke’s road back to the limelight has been long and hard and it shows in every frame. He bleeds both emotion and the red stuff. Combine this with Marissa Tomei’s stellar turn as past her prime stripper Cassidy, and you get a portrait of truly heartbreaking humanity.

With such stellar acting on display some directors might opt to stand back and just let things run on autopilot. Fortunately Darren Aronofsky is not that type of director. If it seems as though he has ditched all of the stylish flourishes he’s famous for in favor of a documentary approach you aren’t looking close enough. No documentarian could ever be this lucky. Whether it’s following behind Ram as he enters the ring or zeroing in on Cassidy as she has a personal revelation, the camera is always in precisely the right spot for maximum subjectivity. Aronofsky makes the intensely planned look effortless. He is the real deal and so is this film.

Cloudy With A Chance Of WTF?

So the Oscar nominations were announced this morning. This has been a so-so year for films and as a result the nominees have been pretty easy to pick. That's not to say that there weren't some pretty shocking omissions. OK let's move forward. I promise this won't be as tedious as my Golden Globes overview. I'll skip categories about which I don't have anything interesting to say.

Best Actor

Haven't seen The Visitor but I love Richard Jenkins so it's nice to see him on here. Though I would have liked to see Benicio for his great work in Che and WHERE THE FUCK IS CLINT!

Best Supporting Actor

Downey Jr actually did it! He got a nom for being the dude playing a dude disguised as another dude! Didn't care much for the film but that performance was awesome. This is one of the best categories in terms of quality. It's going to Heath though and deservedly so.

Best Actress

Who will win? Hathaway or Winslet? Or will they split votes and someone else wins? Hopefully not Angelina. Ooh the suspense!

Best Animated Feature

Some people thought Wall-E would follow in Beauty and the Beast's footsteps and get a best picture nomination. It's consolation prize will be winning this category.

Best Director

I love Fincher, Boyle and Van Sant though I don't know how I would feel about David winning for work that I found to be a little sub-par. What I do know is that Ron Howard doesn't need another Oscar (though he's a very nice guy and a capable picture maker). And what's the deal with Stephen Daldry? How did he squeak in over Christopher Nolan who's vision for The Dark Knight allowed it to soar above all other comic book films?

Best Foreign Language Film

Though I didn't see hardly any foreign films this year I do have an opinion on this category. Gommora, which many considered a front runner for the category, was passed over. I'm really looking forward to this film's American release. Was it too "genre" to make the cut? Speaking of genre...Sweden didn't even submit Let The Right One In so it had no chance. Why do we leave that up to a bunch of guys who are most inclined to pick the easy and sure thing? Risky stuff will never get a chance that way.  CORRECTION: apparently Sweden did not submit Let The Right One In because it wasn't eligable.  Since the film wasn't released in Sweden before October, it is ineligable for THIS year's Oscars, but could be eligable next year.  I'm leaving my original comments here because I think the points I make about bias against genre are still valid.

Best Makeup

I'm happy to see creature makeup finally getting some love! They passed up Hellboy the first time around. I guess the troll market forced them to take notice. This is an extremely tough category to pick. All the work here was phenomenal.

Best Cinematography

As much as I love Roger Deakins' photography I don't want him to win this year.  He deserves to have his first Oscar be for a film that he was on from start to finish.

Best Original Song

This is the first BIG "what the fuck?" category. Only three nominees? Has this ever been done before? I mean I'm glad I won't have to hear some Miley Cyrus song or something. And I'm totally stoked to see M.I.A up for a Golden Boy. But to pass up The Boss? Especially when he just won the Golden Globe? This stinks just as bad as that year when they passed up Mick Jagger. In some ways they're so old fashioned (Disney movies) yet also forward thinking (Eminem, Issac Hayes). I think this category will always be a mystery.

Best Picture

And now for the second BIG "what the fuck?"...The producers' guild, the directors' guild and the editors' guild ALL picked the same five nominees. One would think a phenomenon like that would result in those five films being the Oscar nominees. You just thought wrong. The Reader wasn't even supposed to be released until next year but Harvey Weinstein insisted on moving it to this year. This created all sorts of shock waves in the Hollywood community and prompted one of the film's producers to remove his name from it. And now it's up for best picture AND director? Something smells rotten in Denmark. Harvey is notorious for heavy handed campaigning. Did it finally pay off? Or maybe it has to do with the Oscar's continuing love affair with the Holocaust. I had some fairly serious misgivings about The Dark Knight but all in all it was a very ambitious and well executed film. I think this will be one of those hotly contested categories people discuss for years to come.

Best Sound Mixing & Editing

Winning these will be like giving Ben Burt a best actor award. His twitters and squeaks are what gave Wall-E it's heart and soul.

AND EVEN THOUGH IT WAS KNOWN WELL IN ADVANCE - NO HONORARY OSCAR FOR ROGER CORMAN...THIS YEAR AT LEAST

OK. Sorry.  No mroe rage.  For now. I'm really excited for Milk and Slumdog.

Catch you guys on the flip side.

INNOCENT!?!

I know star witness Don Haidl is a piece of shit just like his gang-rapist son...

BUT THAT'S NO REASON TO COMPLETELY IGNORE THESE DAMMING AUDIO RECORDINGS THAT HE MADE!

All that and all you could pin on him was one count of witness tampering?

I DEMAND A RE-TRIAL!

UPDATE!

EVEN MORE FURIOUS MAKING

Thanks For Listening

I read the news today oh boy. Indie 103 is going off the air.

Of course they'll still be online, but the days of picking up their shitty signal in the car are over and done with. Unlike some of your heartless bastards I can't help but shead a tear.

Sure they weren't truly "indie". But where else could I hear both Frank Sinatra and Public Enemy without having to turn the dial? Where else could I get DJs like Steve Jones & Henry Rollins? And most importantly, who else would let an asshole like me on the air for an hour?

It was the perfect station for a late night drive when you didn't have your iPod with you. Unfortunately I can't get my computer to go 55mph. le sigh.

Thank you Indie 103. You will be missed.

Commentary + Dissent = Dysentery

First off - the above photo has absolutely nothing to do with this post. I did a google image search for "george w bush portrait" and this is one of the images that came up: Miles Davis holding a white baby. Will the wonders of the internet ever cease?

Anyhow. I just got done watching Bush's farewell address. Was it just me or did he look downright creepy when he was talking about Obama and his family. He had that look he gets when he thinks he's being funny. Or maybe that's just the only look he has aside from his "serious" face.

The speech was pretty standard. Just humping the ghosts of his limited accomplishments. I mean I guess the absence of a negative (additional terrorism on American soil) is a positive. But let's not forget that 9/11 itself happened on his watch. We're supposed to remember him as a great president because only ONE massive terrorist attack happened on his watch? And what about Katrina? And torture?

In the end, this speech felt aptly like the end of a horror movie. You know when the killer or whatever comes back for one last scare. Remember there are evil evil people out there in the world and we all need to be afraid. Of all the things I won't miss about the Bush administration, constant use of scare tactics ranks numero uno.

I'm not saying that everything will be rainbow fountains and roller-disco dance parties with Obama. Shit's gonna be pretty tough especially over the next few financial quarters. But at least we have a president who signed up for the job knowing how difficult it would be, rather than one who slid in at the tail end of good times and had to continually play catch-up as things got worse and worse (usually as a result of his own doing or lack there of). For this we can be thankful.

Farewell you faux cowboy ass-hat!

Things Are Tough All Over

Over the past few weeks this whole recession mentality has really started to kick in. I've tried to write something profound on it but it all comes out so depressing when I want it to come out recessing. Since the election we've been sitting in this holding pattern. Shit seems futile. This picture really sums up how I'm feeling inside:

Times like this call for the world's greatest, "getting out of a funk song". I hope this helps.

Pubescent Vampire Angst

Want to play a game? Let’s say you’re at the mall, and someone approaches you about attending an advanced screening of a film. They cannot tell you the title but they describe it as: an adaptation of a popular book about a relationship between an adolescent and a vampire. What do you do? If you say yes you might have just condemned yourself to 2 hours of allegorical abstinence schmaltz. Say no and you could be missing out on a highly nuanced film about love and loneliness. What do you do?

Like most great genre films Let The Right One In is about much more than blood sucking. This restrained creep-fest could also be at home on a shelf next to Harold and Maude. Two characters, both decidedly out of step with “normal” society, coming together as an off-beat couple for the ages. No matter how weird or unlovable you might think you are, there is someone out there for you. Did I mention the title comes from a Morrissey song? Who would have guessed?

So what about the scares? Is this just touchy-feely stuff about lost souls finding each other? Oh no no no. This film delivers the chills too. Shot in a very objective and utilitarian manner, this film allows the scares to really creep up on you. Many of the most gruesome moments occur either out of frame or in wide shots with cleverly placed shadows and branches. Mood and sound provide a starting point from which your imagination can run wild.

Sadly this film was overlooked by the Golden Globes and The Academy will likely do the same. Genre always has to battle a hard road for acceptance. But trust me, it is no fluke that this film has already won 18 awards worldwide. A film like this is something to be treasured. So the next time someone invites you to go see a vampire movie - agree without reservation. It could be shit but it could also be gold.

No Fun

Ron Asheton, founding member of and guitarist for The Stooges, was found dead yesterday from an apparent heart attack. He was only 60. Without him there would be no punk rock. OK maybe there would be punk rock. But having him gone is definitely -