Mortgage Meltdown!

I honestly cannot remember the last time I was excited to see a horror film. Ever since Saw hit in 2004 horror films have grown increasingly more oppressive. Each film trying to out-do the next in terms of sadism and fucked-upedness. Now I’m not saying that films like this are evil “torture porn” and should not exist (I for one enjoyed both of the Hostel films) but what I am saying is a little variety never hurt anyone.

Thank God for Sam Raimi! After six years of being caught up in all things web-head, Mr. Raimi has returned to the genre that made him a star with subtly titled – Drag Me To Hell. If you like BIG scares, BIG laughs and people getting hit on the head with BIG anvils this is the movie for you. Yep that’s right – comedy in a horror film! Not since Slither have I laughed so much (with not at) a horror film.

Watching this film makes me yearn for more Raimi-horror. I want more floating possessed people, more geysers of blood and more 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88s. Unfortunately we’re gonna have to sit through another Spider-Man film before we get there. But at least it’s good to know that the home fires are still burning.

Palms of Gold

This has definitely been an interesting year for Cannes. When the line-up was announced everybody was atwitter about the strength of the slate. Many legendary auteurs were represented.

Cut-to: the actual screenings.

Many of the films were reviewed as either so-so (or in the case of Antichrist absolutely horrible). The worm had turned and we were left with no stand-out film. So how were the awards finally doled out?

Special Lifetime Achievement Prize - Alain Resnais (who had the film "Les HerbesFolles"in competition)

Best Actor - Christoph Waltz for "Inglourious Basterds"

Best Actress - Charlotte Gainsbourg for "Antichrist"

Director - Brillante Mendoza for "Kinatay"

Scenario (Best Screenplay) - "Spring Fever" (Lou Ye)

Jury Prize - tie, "Thirst" (Park Chan-Wook) / "Fish Tank" (Andrea Arnold)

Camera d'Or - "Samson and Delilah" (Warwick Thornton)

Short Film - "Arena"

Grand Prix (second prize)- "Un Prophete" (Jacques Audiard)
The Palme d'Or - "White Ribbon" (Michael Haneke)

Quite the diverse slate. Though I find Charlotte Gainsbourg to be a great actress and have yet to see Antichrist, I can't help but feel that the jury gave her the prize for putting up with director Lars Von Trier. And as if I wasn't already psyched enough for Inglourious Bastards, it now has an acting award to its' credit. Only here could you have a sadistic Austrian film win best picture.

Cannes you never cease to surprise me. Too bad ALL of these films will be ignored come Golden Globe/Oscar season.

This Is Not The Future My Mother Warned Me About

As far as genres go, the action film is arguably the oldest (does documentary count as a genre?). Films like The Life of an American Fireman and The Great Train Robbery were trailblazers that pushed the limits of what the medium was capable of. Multiple shots, parallel action, etc. were all techniques pioneered in action films.

Unfortunately in the intervening years, action films have fallen behind the curve. Nowadays all the great innovations come from art films with action playing catch-up. The best example of this is McG’s latest opus Terminator Salvation.

While the film was still in production Mr.G (?) describe his ambition thusly: an action film shot like Children of Men. That simple statement sent many people's interest in the film from -5 to 2. Perhaps this film would amount to more than cinematic a get rich quick scheme. Sadly that is not the case.

While Señor G’s film is extremely successful stylistically, it is as empty as a Madoff investor’s bank account when it comes to content. What we get instead is an unfocused narrative about freedom (maybe?) and humanity (possibly?) filled with elements from other more successful action films. Giant Transformer robots, Road Warrior car chases and grease smeared little girl who wants to be Newt from Aliens.

Great sci-fi makes leaves audiences filled with questions about life, the universe and everything. This film leaves audiences wondering why Christian Bale thought this film was important enough to go ape-shit on a DP over?

A Decade In Front Of The Tube

With the 2008/2009 TV season drawing to a close there is only one reasonable thing to do - make a list of the decade's best TV shows. Am I jumping the gun? Maybe but my feeling is that the exemplary serieses have already proven themselves, the shitty ones won't all of a sudden get good and new shows debuting in the summer or fall are too new.

In order to make the list a show must have lasted at least 2 seasons. Also, rather than declaring a single show the greatest I've picked 2 dramas and 2 comedies. In my opinion these 4 shows both reflected and defined the past 10 years. So without any further ado...

BEST DRAMA

Great art can take the specific and make it universal. By intensely exploring 5 years in the ghettos of Baltimore Maryland The Wire was able to make profound statements about crime, politics, media, addiction, etc. This show was able to take material that is usually relegated to the editorial page and make it riveting entertainment. Couple that with an amazingly talented ensemble of actors and you get a classic that will be remembered for years to come.

I have to admit that I was pretty late to the game on this one. I was being an elitist in assuming that nothing with that title could possibly be anything more than fodder for the Comic-Con crowd. When I finally started playing catch-up mid-way through season 3 I found that I was only half right. In addition to babes, bots & blasters there were also intensely relevant ideas in play. Torture, religion & terrorism. Not your usual sci-fi trifecta but it worked like fraking gang busters. So say we all.

BEST COMEDY

Combine two of the shittiest elements of post-millennial life (reality TV & Enron) and what do you get? One of the funniest and most quotable shows ever! So what if not a single character was sympathetic? People love to laugh at buffoons. The more self-aggrandizing the buffoon the better. Though the show died an unceremonious death after 3 underrated seasons the waves it started can still be felt in film & TV to this day. You're welcome Michael Cera!

Laugh for laugh this is the best thing going on TV currently. Industry insider shows never work. This is because very few people are actually inside, yet somehow this show has succeeded in bringing people inside its' weird fucked up little world. We want to go to there. Only this show could get away with having an Amadeus or Harry and The Hendersons themed sub-plot. God bless Tina Fey!

So there you have it. Discuss!

Three

Though I haven't seen a lot of Fellini I have seen 8 1/2 and I love it more than words. A beautiful film filled with so many startling images and ideas. If you haven't seen it yet I insist you must.

anyhow...

The film is titled 8 1/2 because within Fellini's filmography this was film number (you guessed it) 8 1/2. In 1982 the film was adapted into a Broadway musical cleverly titled 9. Now the cycle is complete and that musical has been made into a film. Here's the trailer:



It's kind of surreal seeing familiar images like la Saraghina in a similar yet vaguely unfamiliar way. Rob Marshall (Chicago, Memoirs of a Geisha) is definitely no Fellini but he's also no slouch either.

Some might give him flack for casting very few Italians in this film just like how he cast very few Japanese in Geisha. While I find this fact interesting I'll state that in the end all that matters is whether or not the film is good. Guess we'll have to wait till November to find out.

Worst comes to worst this film will make an interesting double feature with All That Jazz.

Warp Speed!

I've tried to write this review at least 10 times and have had zero success. I've tried making it about franchise revival, I've tried to make it about the increased pop acceptance of all things nerd, I've even tried to make it about cinema structure. All of these have been miserable failures.

Maybe I'm trying too hard. Maybe I should simplify. OK Craig. I one sentence describe the new Star Trek movie.

Star Trek is...FUN!

Sure you can gripe about the fairly non-sensical plot, or how it plays fast and loose with the mythology, but in the end it comes down to that one word - Fun. This movie is one hell of a wild ride with a strong emphasis on character. Oh and did I mention all the people are pretty too?

For my money this is THE tent pole of the summer. If you haven't seen it yet I suggest you get your butt to a theater and strap in.

May you live long and prosper.

Super Scouts!

From 6th thru 12th grade I your humble blogger was a Boy Scout.  I even made it to Eagle.  In order to get Eagle you are required to earn a certain amount of merit badges.  Most of these come from a set list (First Aid, Citizenship in the Nation, etc.) but once you have earned all of the "required" badges you are then free to pick from a litany of other badges to fill the quota.

You can get a badge in beekeeping.  You can also get one (I shit you not) in Nuclear Science.  These Misc badges are there so that kids with far flung interests can get badges in things that they dig. Unfortunately for me there were only four badges to cover my interests: Film, Theatre, Photography & Art.

Oh how I envy the female youth of today.

The Girl Scouts of the Virginia Skyline Council have a Comics Badge!

What the fuck man?  For years people have pigeonholed comics as a medium for emotionally stunted males, yet it's the ladyfolk who stepped up to the plate and made a badge for this legitimate American art form!  The BSA needs to get their shit together and make one of these for all the (how do we put this?) "indoor kids".

Rock on Girl Scouts!

EXCELSIOR!

Tomorrow is the first Saturday of May.  Do you know what that means?

FREE COMIC BOOK DAY!!!

A few years back when the fist X-Men film was released, comic book retailers across the nation decided to seize upon the publicity by having Free Comic Book Day.  The theory being that the film would cause millions of people to start jonsing for a comic fix and they (the retailers) would be there to scratch your itch.  Well I guess it was successful because here we are nearly a decade later and it's become an annual tradition.

Last year Free Comic Book Day followed the release of the excellent Iron Man movie.  This year we're not so lucky and are getting a reportedly less than stellar Wolverine movie.  Oh well. They can't all be winners.  

Shitty mutant movie aside - you should carve an hour out of your tomorrow to  head on down to your nearest comic book retailer.  What you don't know where that is?  Shame on you!  But you can always dial 1-888-COMICBOOK for a little help in that department.

Lots of cool publishers are releasing lots of cool special issues that are only available as part of Free Comic Book Day.  I'm personally excited for the Love and Rockets sampler from Fantagraphics (though there will probably be none left by the time I get off work). Grrr.

In addition to the free books, most shops will also be hosting massive sales.  With the economy as it is this would be the perfect time to but that trade paper back you've been eyeing.  Or for those of you who aren't really comic book followers this is the perfect time to start.  The first taste is free and the second taste could be 25% off.  I'd like to see a drug dealer who could do better.

All joking and carnival barking aside - please come out and support this truly American art medium.  You turned out in droves to see The Dark Knight, now it's time to turn out for the little funny books that first gave us the caped crusader.

Recommended titles for newbies to look at:

-Love and Rockets

-Y: The Last Man

-Watchmen

-Runaways

-Scott Pilgrim

-The Dark Knight Returns

-Persepolis

-Invincible